How I Leave Food Offerings for My Ancestors

My ancestor altar with some seasonally appropriate snacks.

How often do you honor your dead?

You’ve likely seen a food offering before, whether it be on the altar of an Asian restaurant or celebrated the Jewish feast of Sukkot. I’ve been curious about how to incorporate the spirit of these rituals into my own practices surrounding food. Food is a great way to honor the memory of my ancestors. I like to consider what they liked eating as an insight into the personhood of the relatives that my parents remember, but who passed before I was born.

Case in point is my grandfather Jack, a legendary family figure. My father says he was quick to warmth, slow to anger, and tidy in his appearance. My mom says he was handsome and charming, an easy favorite as an outsider being invited into a new family. He was married to my grandmother for 34 years before his passing, and he was a little league coach for his sons’ baseball teams for the entire time that they played. My father’s favorite memories of him listening to music were of him listening to Christmas songs on this enormous record player in the living room.

These little breadcrumbs to the type of man that my grandfather was are enlightening, but I connect much more with the following question: what did he like to eat?

Strawberry shortcake was his favorite dessert. I’d rarely make that for my partner and I in our apartment, so I took the opportunity to make some for him. My father says that he was “a man of simple tastes,” but I still insisted on marinating the strawberries with a syrup made of hibiscus tea.

Want to create your own ritual surrounding food offerings to your relatives? Here’s a crash course in ritual ancestor offerings.

A Very Brief Cultural Overview of Food Offerings

It’s hard to find a culture that doesn’t leave some sort of food offering to their ancestors, spirits, or gods in some fashion. There is a rich history of such traditions in both the Asian and African continents as well as through their diasporas. Dia de los Muertos is a Mexican holiday that has roots back to the Aztec culture. On the holiday they will leave traditional Mexican dishes, candy skulls, and tequila or mezcal. European traditions also have a histories of leaving food for the dead, particularly on days that represent the changing of the seasons.

Readings from text sources surrounding this topic are currently few and far between. Reddit has a lot of information from practitioners who leave offerings. If you’re looking for a more “official” source, there are a few books listed at the bottom of this post that cover a variety of food traditions.

It’s important to me that I be respectful to other cultures when mentioning my practice. However, I also don’t want to prevent someone from honoring their ancestors just because “they don’t know everything.” The intention to pay tribute to your past is honorable in itself— it is more important to do it at all than to do it right when you’re starting out.

When Should I Leave Offerings?

You may be asking yourself, when is best to leave offerings? The answer is what is best for you and your lifestyle. I leave an offering of tea at least once a week, then use the offering to water my plants when I’m done. It’s important to cultivate a relationship with your ancestry, rather than just thinking of them when you want something out of the relationship. I try to leave an offering of food at least once a month on the full moon cycle, as well as on special occasions like the relative’s birthdays. If you feel like leaving things more often, have at it!

What to Make?

Offering a beverage like coffee or wine is a good way to honor your ancestors without having to make a whole meal for them. I use the same mug every time and wash it in between uses.

I make sweets that I remember my relatives liking, or I ask family members what their favorite foods are. If you don’t have access to that information, then you can research the foods of your ancestors or you can just cook foods that remind you of home. They likely are also soothed by these foods. You can also feel free to share what you’re already making for dinner with your ancestors. They’ll probably like what you like.

Set Up a Space for Your Offerings

An altar is an area where you keep items that are sacred to you. You can use this space to set intentions for what you want to create in your life, whether that be a sense of well-being, gratitude, or abundance.

I have a little altar on the floor in my bedroom. On it, I usually have a candle, some fresh flowers, and any pictures of relatives that have passed. I dust the area more frequently than I do the rest of the apartment, and I leave my food offerings there as well.

You may have never intentionally set up an altar before, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a space that is similar to one in your home. If you have a shelf with trinkets that hold sentimental value, then you’re already halfway there. Any slightly separated space will work. Set out some items that are important to you, and maybe light a small candle with your offering. If you have a picture of your relative or you have their obituary, leave it in your altar space. Let it burn down completely rather than blowing the candle out.

What to Do With The Offering Later

You can get rid of your offering in a couple of hours or wait until the morning to throw it out. Either way, don’t leave it out forever to go bad.

• Leave it outdoors for your furry neighbors

• Compost it

• Pour it down the drain

• Water your plants

• Trash it

• Eat it

If you are having difficulty deciding the best method of disposal, ask your ancestors what they would like you to do out loud. The first instinct that comes to your head after you ask is the best way to get rid of it.

Further Reading:

• Orishas, Goddesses, and Voodoo Queens by Lilith Dorsey: this book covers traditions of the African diaspora and gives recipes for the altar as well.

• Year of the Witch by Temperance Alden: this book is loosely steeped in Celtic tradition and also gives recipes for certain seasons.

• Honoring Your Ancestors by Mallorie Vaudoise: this book written by an Italian folk witch discusses ancestor offerings from Catholic-based traditions.

Missing a book that you would like to see mentioned? Feel free to leave a comment on the bottom of the page and I’ll gladly edit the list here.